I think sometimes I forget that this is true. As of today, I still have 100% of my life left.
That's an amazing thought. Starting today, I can go about my life in any way that I want to. I can move on with my life in a manner of learning from my mistakes and start living the life that I really want to live.
Lately, I've been feeling very dissatisfied with my life. I've done things recently that I'm not necessarily proud of. I haven't been holding myself to the standard that I have always held my entire life. This is in regards to school, relationships, friendships, my morals, and everything in between.
I have this problem of covering up how I really feel, and just going with the flow. I like to act very laid back and stress out about nothing. It has worked for awhile, but it is starting to catch up with me. Everything that I have covered up, every feeling that I've tried to convince myself that I don't feel, they have all been creeping to the surface getting ready to spill over. I feel like I'm going crazy half the time trying to control the feelings I want people to see, and the feelings that I'm really feeling.
I don't know how to fix any of this other than to slowly start being honest with myself. I really need to evaluate what I want out of life, and how I really feel about different things, and coming to terms with my feelings and stop trying to change them.
The reason I'm writing this blog is because I really, really want to start getting my feelings in check. I want to slowly uncover what I really want out of this life of mine. So, when I'm writing, I'm writing like I'm speaking to myself, not like I'm writing for an audience (you all who are reading this). If you really have nothing better to do with your time other than to read this, or if you are honestly interested in what's going on in my life, or if you are feeling the same way and this helps you sort through your own issues, then I hope you enjoy this blog. I will apologize now though if it's not always entertaining. I'm going to try to write about the good things that happen, and not just the bad. That way I don't seem like a sourpuss who hates her life all of the time, because that is definitely NOT the case. I promise to try to make my posts vary :)
So, to finish off this blog, I'm going to post a few more quotes about starting over. Because, from this point on, I'm going to focus on living each day in honesty. No more covering up my feelings. I know it's going to be a process, but it's something that I'm committed to working on.
“Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.” -- Herman Hesse, Nobel Prize Author, Poet and Painter
“We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.” -- Harrison Ford, American Actor
“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” -- E.M. Forster, English Novelist, Screenwriter and Humanist
“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.” -- Jim Rohn, America’s Business Philosopher
‘Keep on beginning and failing. Each time you fail, start all over again, and you will grow stronger until you have accomplished a purpose - not the one you began with perhaps, but one you'll be glad to remember.” -- Anne Sullivan, Helen Keller’s Instructor
"Discontent is the first necessity of progress" - Thomas Edison
"Whatever you want in life, start today. Not tomorrow- today. Let it be a small beginning- a tiny beginning. Your happiness depends on starting today- every day."
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